Friday, November 14, 2008

For my single friends

As those near and dear to me (and some unfortunate victims) know, I am literally a genius when it comes to all things boys. Genius, I say! I have usually had more guy than girl friends (marriage will put an end to that, won't it - enter crazy person laugh here) and my former experience as a serial-dater offered many opportunities to gain insight on our protein-packed co-humans.

Recently, I've grown increasingly frustrated with some of the comments I've heard from my single friends about the treatment they accept/tolerate/put up with from the guys they date (or their own brothers, for that matter). Well, I can't take it anymore! Maybe its my genteel upbringing, but I expect a lot from the guys in my life. Not only do I expect respect(not demand, but expect - there is a difference between the two), I also expect to be treated like royalty. This is a normal course of life for me.

If I'm heading inside a building and there's a male heading inside the building at the same time, it's natural for me to step aside so that he can open the door! And, let me tell you, if you do that, a man will ALWAYS open the door for you. Anyhoo, I'm going to do this public service for my sistahs out there and give 6 simple guidelines for the type of treatment that you deserve.

1. NEVER pump your own gas if there's a male over the age of 13 in the car. NEVER. Why should you have to get out, touch that grimy handle, and risk getting the smell of petrol on your hands? Its not necessary! Let him do it! I learned this in high school! Come on, people!

2. Learn how to put a condom on a guy and learn how to do it without looking. This needs no explanation. Ladies, we're progressive enough to protect ourselves. And by the way, keep your own stash and take some with you on dates.

3. Don't open door if there is a guy coming through the same door at the same time - even if you're going in opposite directions. This should apply for your life in general, but it is REQUIRED if you are on a date or otherwise hanging out with a significant other. If your guy won't open the door for you, he's inconsiderate (in my humble opinion) and who wants a future with an inconsiderate guy? If you weren't raised this way, it might take some getting used to, but you can do it!

4. If you're on a date, try to let your guy hold the seat for you. He doesn't have to push you up to the table (that's awkard unless he really knows what he's doing), but he should make sure you're comfortably seated first. I don't know what kind of guy seats himself before his date is seated. Oh, yes I do - it's the guy who doesn't get a second date.
*Aside* My parent's friends always stand when a woman approaches or leaves the table during dinner/brunch/lunch. This is awesome, but even I realize that it is a disappearing art. These guys also wear sports coats to dinner/brunch/lunch...

5. A guy should open the car door for you. He really should. This is absolutely required on a first date. My hubby is pretty good about this. But, I must admit, sometimes I forget to wait for him - particularly when its cold or rainy. I think remote locks has kind of ruined the propensity for this sort of generosity.

6. If you don't feel like a guy is going at least a little bit out of his way to treat you like you're super special, forget him. Its doubtful his manners will ever improve and there's no reason why you shouldn't feel like Queen Bee when you're with him.

I think its sad to hear girls brag that some guy helped them into or out of their coats. Why would a guy watch you struggle to get your arm in a coat and not help? Why would a guy not bring the umbrella around to your side of the car so that you don't get wet between the car and the door? If valet and the restaurant host/maitre d can open doors for you, hold your seat, and help you into or out of your coat - why can't the guy who's supposed to care about you?

Anyway, that's enough preaching from me for one day.


DaVida Chanel said...

The world will be as blessed as I am by your boy advice!!!

Amy said...

#6 should be part of the national high school curriculum. Truth!


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